It is amusing to me to look back on my life and try to understand why I did the things that I did. Quite a few of them I did because I was a brat and spoiled. I am not sure if people would admit that about themselves, but after all I'm now 49 and I can admit yes I was spoiled and yes I was a brat. I've grown out of most of that I think. I wasn't spoiled in the way that kids are nowadays though. Kids nowadays have everything they want. They get whatever it is they want when they want it. They don't have to work for it. Back when I was a kid we worked for what we wanted, but when you were spoiled you didn't work quite so hard, or you got some extra from your parent. I got away with alot of stuff that I shouldn't have. I did pretty much what I wanted to. I visited with my friends when I wanted to, or I didn't visit with them. My choice. If I wanted to stay up late during the summer I got to. Of course this is only after my Dad passed away. My Mom was undergoing her own changes, she had to learn to take care of three children without the help of her husband, the bread winner. She suddenly had so much to worry about. She had to find a job. Where was our food going to come from? What about medical bills if something happened. As you can tell I do not blame my Mom for anything. Okay well not true, I do blame her for not letting me attend my Dad's funeral. I really think I was old enough to handle it. But she didn't and she was my Mom and I did what I was told. Looking back on it, not such a good idea.
So anyway, there is life past a nervous breakdown. Life moves forward slowly and gently. So in that vein of moving forward, I had my fights with my Mom, my sister and brother. Wow did I have fights. Some of them I remember very well, some I am sure I do not remember at all. I remember once fighting with my sister, I don't remember what caused it but I remember running through the house and running into my room. I slammed the door and heard this crash, the full length mirror on my door fell off and broke into soo many pieces. Well my sister told me through the door, "You are going to be in so much trouble when Mom comes home". Hmm she was right. I remember hiding in my room, and not coming out until I got this brainy idea to climb out my bedroom window, climb up the tree on to the roof of the house and wait on the front porch roof till my Mom got home. SO I did it. I waited up there for probably two hours till my Mom came home, just so I could tell her that my sister chased me in my room and made me break the mirror when I slammed the door to get away from her. Did I get in trouble? Heck NO!! My sister did. She had to clean up the mess and then she had to apologize to me for making me be so scared. hehehe I guess sometimes it does pay to be the baby. Wow I haven't thought of that in a very long time. Good times Good times.
I remember other good times as well, I remember Christmas times, Mom always made them special. The first Christmas after my Dad passed away, I remember getting a gallon of olives and a bag of walnuts and believe it or not I got a psychedelic stuffed bull, and I got an electric piano. I remember all of that I'm sure because it was the first Christmas without my Dad. We got what we had asked for all of us did. It was okay. I really wish it wasn't because my Dad died, but that is what I remember.
I remember other fights, I remember fighting with my friends. But most of the time we all got along very well. I hung out with my friends when I got older, Mom knew everyone. I mean when you live in such a small town you know everybody. There were people in my town who didn't like my Mom. They didn't like her because of the way that she raised us kids. My town was full of hypocrites. They would go to church on Sunday and be in the bar Sunday afternoon. They didn't care about talking about people in town, I think they most of them felt that it was their right since they lived there. I walked into the hardware store once to get a gift for my Mom and heard several people talking about her. They were discussing how they didn't think my Mom should be dating anyone so soon. So Soon?? Heck it had been several years or more. And I was the type of person that you didn't talk about my Mom, at least not around me. I could talk about her, I could slam her she was my Mom, but no one else could. Well, okay my siblings could but not anyone who wasn't related. Right there in that hardware store I remember walking around the end of the aisle and telling the two old bitty's to shut the hell up. I told them that they needed to keep their tongues in their mouths and stop talking about things they know nothing about. Well they were upset, I was upset and they did not know what to tell me. I stunned them. I remember walking out of that store thinking served them right. And I was floating for about two days until I heard someone else talking about my Mom. But to be honest that is a small town. It will never change. Everyone knows what everyone else is doing. I swear sometimes they know when you take a pee. But it was my home. By the way I do not live there anymore. Some of my family does, and I love them. I miss my hometown but I would not want to live there full time. My place of retirement is going to be the beach. WOOOHOO the beach!! That's enough for tonight. I'm tired and I would love nothing more than to lay down and sleep. Can't right now have laundry to do. My job never ends sometimes but I wouldn't change it for anyone or anything in the world. I'm truly happy right here right now. Happy, what a great thing to be. Stay safe and keep healthy till next time.
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